Happy New Year!

There are a number of traditions for ringing out the old year and ringing in the new. Among the most physically taxing (for ordinary people, university students have a mountainous marathon relay on the first) is making sticky rice cakes called mochi.

Step one (following the cooking of the rice, that is), mash the mochi rice.
Step two, pound the rice like your hammering rocks on a prison chain gain.

Happy Holidays!

Praying to the gods

These images were taken in October, so in some respects they are late going up. The first is taken of one of the most photographed and famous scenes in Osaka (at least at night and of those scenes shown to most people and in mixed company).
Remember in viewing it that Japan likes to tout its efforts at energy conservation and the battle against global warming.

The kirin is a phoenix-like creature in Japanese mythology. It is also the symbol of Kirin Beverage Company, makers of Kirin Lager. The photograph below was taken at their headquarters building next to the Ebisu Bridge (above). Someone had paid homage to this god.

Global Tito Update

I have finally gotten around to updating Global Tito with a few highlights from the Tokyo Motor Show.

Shaping up

Wacoal, long known as the top lingerie maker in Japan, has recently introduced underwear designed to slightly tighten the wearer's body to give a more fit appearance. Japanese women have long been fans of such clothing, and even embraced padded pants -- much like they have padded bras -- to give themselves more curves.

Wacoal's new line, however, is aimed at the middle-aged, cubicle dwelling man. According to the Nikkei Weekly even younger cubicle rats are joining the trend. One man in his fifties was quoted as saying, "As I grew fatter, I became more aware of my body shape." So, he did what any man would do -- he purchased form-flattering underwear.

The market has grown for such products with the awareness of "metabolic syndrome", an accumulation of fat around vital body organs (which an American friend refers to more directly as "getting fat"), which has lead to an increase in attention to body shape. This of course leads to problems such as diabetes and other lifestyle related illnesses. The natural response, therefore, is to cover the problem. According to the Nikkei, "form-fitting underwear is likely to be [a] potential growth segment, as the popularity of such underwear is driven not just by a rising interest in health, but also by a strong demand for slender suits."

It seems reasonable, after all, that gym membership takes much more time to work.

Finally!

For those who have been waiting, and doubtless there are many, OWND is finally open. What is OWND, you may be asking. OWND is Oxygen, Water, Nutrition and Dogs, which is of course a place to stick your small- or medium-sized dog into an oxygen chamber for a few minutes. They also have human-sized ones you can enjoy while waiting for Fido to rejuvenate. And, it is only JPY2000 ($17.53) for 30 minutes. And there is no need to fear your dog will be crushed by the pressure normally pumped in for humans, because the flow of oxygen has been brought down by 0.1 point from the people setting. The best part, is that these things look like little clear plastic torpedo tubes.

Source: Nikkei Weekly, October 22, 2007

Catering to the geeks

The Akihabara district of Tokyo has long been a geek stronghold. The main strip is lined with electronics stores of various description. There are numerous shops catering to anime and manga enthusiasts. The back alleyways and side streets are filled with enough porn to satisfy most, much of it anime. Maid Cafes, in which young women, clad in "French Maid" outfits giggle and serve tea. An industry in its own right has been spawned by these cafes and now includes other manner of stores, including glasses stores, souvenir stores, and reflexology shops. All of them cater to the otaku, Japanese for "geek".

According to a Japan Times article, however, all this catering to otaku is dangerous. In short, the cartoonish maids and making their socially inept "masters" ever more socially inept by reducing the geeks' need to interact with normal society.

Apparently, it would have been so much better if it had stopped at the porn. Perhaps the growth of maid-themed shops will keep them from breeding.

Random Thought

I was walking around an area not far from my neighborhood when this thought struck me: Does it seem feasible to anyone else that any fresh water shortages Japan may suffer could be caused by the clusters of soap lands scattered throughout major metropolitan areas?

For those of you unfamiliar with soap land, you can read wikipedia's entry here. *

*Please note that this does not constitute an endorsement of wikipedia, but rather a laziness on the part or the idle monkey trainer. And the first few sentences seemed fairly accurate.*

* Or, so I have heard from a friend of a friend.

Location, location, location.

Only in Japan would the above pictures be displaying the perfect place for a late summer barbecue. This place had it all:

• Directly under a commuter rail bridge;
• Loose rock of various size and shape;
• An area scrubbed clean by the localized flooding of a recent typhoon;
• Mud, left by the aforementioned typhoon;
• Twelve-foot high graffiti.

It's all about location.

Learned something new.

You learn something new everyday, or so the saying goes. Here is what the idle monkey trainer learned over the last few days:

• 10% of world GDP is related to the aviation industry
• 94.3% of Japanese females in their 20's own a Louis Vuitton item
• It is possible to cleanly shave 99.99% of one's face and still leave intact a clump of 6-inch long hair growing from a solitary mole on the face. (This really is anecdotal and based on the Thai guy and Chinese guy I met over the weekend. At first I thought it was simply neglect or obliviousness to the hair, but realized that the shampooing and styling of one such patch of mole hair constituted a conscious effort at cultivation and required, I would assume, great patience.)
• The toilets in the Imperial Hotel in Tokyo are the nicest public restrooms on the planet. Each stall features floor to nearly ceiling walls and door (to prevent unsolicited advances by rogue Senators, and others), a "washlet" (heated seat with shower function) and soothing classical music kept at a reasonable volume. The soap dispensers and faucets are all automatic, so one does not have to touch anything.
  

Part time work?

Being an idle monkey trainer, it is at times necessary to supplement my income with part time work. Would you care for some Japanese sweets?

"Why don't snails shells get dirty?"

A question that has apparently been of some debate in certain circles. The issue was perhaps put to rest for a group of about fifty attendees at a seminar of that title on Wednesday in Chiba (next to Tokyo). I am a bit disappointed I missed it, and am, therefore, still in the dark on this pressing issue.

The seminar was presented as part of an analytical instruments show, and was geared toward children with the hope of getting kids interested in analytical instruments, or science, or snails. Only time will tell how effective the effort is. The organizers plan to continue these children-oriented seminars in coming years, and I, for one, look forward to more thrilling topics.

Might I suggest a topic for next year: Why are moths' wings dusty?

Shoki Barai

"Drinking away the summer heat" was how this succinct Japanese phrase for getting drunk on a summer evening was translated for me. I can find no equivalent word or simple phrase in English to express that idea. I do have a couple of friends, however, who would no doubt suggest "Friday" has the same connotation.

Along with hanami (viewing the blooming cherry trees) and hanabi (fireworks, which in Japan means going to a park, drinking for several hours to hold your place among the tens of thousands of others doing the same thing), shoki barai seems to me simply another excuse to do what they already want to do: drink.

Now I just need to find a term that is applicable to winter drinking. There is doubtless one.

Fears: Correction

It would appear that I was misinformed. But, fortunately, one benefit of being an idle monkey trainer is having a dedicated research staff.*


I've checked the "Earthquake, Lightning and Father" stuff, as I thought there is one more, "Earthquake, Lightning, "Fire" and Father". And I was right, there are 4 top things to fear. And there are not just for children, adults also fear those.

And I found an interesting story about "Father" - "Oyaji" in Japanese. "Oyaji" used to be "Ooyamaji" which is an old word that means "Typhoon". "Oyaji" and "Ooyamaji" sound very similar, so someone (in old era) started to play around with the word and changed to "Oyaji" which means father, but historically father is not on the 4 top things to fear. So, actually the 4 top things to fear are "Earthquake, Lightning, Fire and Typhoon" which are all weather disasters which could happen in Japan.

Let me just add, that those things do often occur Japan.

*Not actually true, idle monkey trainers do not have any benefits.

Website Updated

Finally there is new material to be found at Global Tito. Take a look at diving in Hawaii and more Dying Sealife.

Japanese Fears

Working in Japan has necessitated learning the language (Japanese monkeys do not speak English). The other day, following the unsettled weather and seismic events of the past couple weeks, my teacher told me about the top fears of children in Japan, and how they have changed.

Previously, the top three were:
1. Earthquakes (on average, Japan has one every 5 minutes)
2. Lightning (the god is pictured)
3. Fathers (the phrase "lightning strikes" was often used to mean "father yelling")

Now, however, the top fears are:
1. Earthquakes
2. Lightning

Fathers, according to my teacher, "have gotten weak."

Back from abroad

The Idle Monkey Trainer is now back in Japan after three mostly idle weeks in the U.S. Unfortunately, three weeks there means a busy return to life here. Thus the lack of recent updates. There will be more soon.

Denver's Union Station

Sunset as seen from the hotel in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii

Shamless self-promotion

If you, like me, have idle time on your hands, have a look at the photos on www.tokyodot.tv.

Thank you for your support.

Quick Random Thought

In general I do not find much of interest on Japanese television. After all, there is only some many times you can watch the same eight "celebrities" (defined in Japan as people who are famous for being famous) "debate" (in the lightest sense of the word) topics.

There are two areas in which, I must admit, Japanese television clearly triumphs: game shows and fishing shows. Because this is a random thought, borne of an idle Saturday afternoon and a couple of drinks, I will deal only with the second.

In fishing shows the Japanese television producers have figured out the formula to perfection, and it is exceedingly simple: instead of heavy-set men they have cast young, attractive females to cast away for various fish. Well done.

The Crow

Over the weekend Tokyo experienced the first taste of summer. In celebration hundreds, if not thousands, of people streamed into Tokyo's Ueno park to enjoy the sunshine and warm temperatures. Among them, a companion and I sat with our purchased bag of chicken when a large crow swept down and eyed one of the bags sitting on the low bench with us. With little hesitation, it hopped once toward the bag, snatching it in its black beak and leaped into a low flight to a spot about 30 meters away. There it tore open the paper bag, strewing pieces of fried chicken around, before taking the largest in its beak and flying off. The whole affair took such little time that the only thing to do was say, "Hey! That crow stole our chicken!"

I think this particular crow was contemplating taking the cat as his next meal.

Tokyo's crows have a deserved reputation for aggressiveness, noise, general filthiness. So bad did the problem get that in the previous election cycle (not the most recent), Governor Ishihara made a reduction of the birds part of a campaign promise. His program to curb the birds, however, failed and actually resulted in a reported increase of the pests. For another example of the birds' ill behavior, go here.

The aftermath

As previously noted, the sanja matsuri, with its attendant hordes came to Tokyo's sensoji temple complex and surrounding neighborhoods. Saturday's early rains seemed to keep things from starting too quickly, but Sunday's postcard clear day invited more people out.

On hand into the evening were literally at least eight bus-loads of Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department's finest crowd control cops. As the sun set, the mikoshi (portable shrines) continued to wind their way through the streets, accompanied by spectators and police.


Clean up takes place quickly around the temple grounds. The booths of food and games come down mostly Sunday night, the crowd control barriers get pulled to the back of the temple, and the mountain of garbage that is generated over the two day's of celebration is loaded for the landfills and incinerators

I think they are going to need a bigger truck.

Thailand in Japan

May 12th and 13th, hordes of Tokyo denizens assembled in Yoyogi park to get their fill of Thai food, Thai pop music and Thai beer. Not necessarily in that order.


This weekend, the sanja matsuri, one of the three largest festivals in Japan takes place in Tokyo's Asakusa district. As this is close the current world headquarters of the Idle Monkey Trainer, I will be leaving the area this weekend. Think of the crowd above tripled in size, and half of them carrying small shrines, like these guys below two years ago.

Sports in the red light district

Sunday afternoons a group of mostly Canadians, a couple of Americans, and the occasional token Aussie or Brit get together to play street hockey in the red light district of Kabukicho in Tokyo. There is a park that we use, conveniently located in front of the local hospital and otherwise surrounded by host clubs, hostess clubs, love hotels, and other associated and unaffiliated businesses.

Given the area, it was only a matter of time, it was only a matter time before this happened:


For information on the hockey group (not the ladies pictured above), visit the Tokyo Street Hockey Association.

Obligatory Sakura Photos

Spring in Japan is the time of the sakura (cherry blossoms) and so, here are a couple of shots from the Sumida River park. Global Tito has also been updated with photos of the ubiquitous trees.














Nothing says Japanese tradition like sitting under the sakura, eating a donner kebab.

Economic indicators

Despite the decade or so of economic malaise that followed the bursting of Japan's real estate bubble in the early 1990's, Japan has retained its place as the world's number two economic power. Over the past few years Japan has been going through a prolonged period of recovery. And the signs that it will continue remain prevalent.

Much focus is given to the Japan Business Federation's (Nippon Keidanren) tankan survey of business sentiment. Business publications hang on every word issued by the Bank of Japan governor. The consumer price index, the value of the yen, and consumer behavior and myriad other indicators are also scrutinized at length in an attempt to predict if this expansion will continue. One area of anecdotal evidence of Japan's economic health, however, seems to be left unnoticed.

Trade shows in Japan offer a view of the economy's state that is rarely reflected upon. There are two elements to the Trade Show Indicator of Economic Health (tm). The first is simply the number of trade shows and exhibitions held and their size. In the last couple of years, trade shows have seen an increased interest from companies looking for opportunities to exhibit their products and services. New trade shows have also been springing up to focus on up and coming industries. The types of new trade shows should also be included here, for example the holding of Japan's first Gourmet Food Show this year.

The second part of the Trade Show Indicator of Economic Health (tm) is the number and quality of the "Campaign Girls". For those unfamiliar with trade shows in Japan, these are the young women typically dressed in short skirts or the like employed by companies to attract visitors into their booths, encourage visitors to fill out their surveys in exchange for cheap give-aways, and be photographed prominently displaying the companies' logos. (Sometimes more effectively than at other times - see below.)

A couple of years ago only the biggest, most free-spending of the Japanese companies had campaign girls prancing in front of their booths; and then only at the biggest exhibitions. This year the number of bubbly women in short, logo-ed apparel has increased.

As an aside, you can also tell the relative health of a company by the quantity and quality of the campaign girl(s) employed at any given booth within the exhibition.

According to the Trade Show Indicator of Economic Health (tm), it should be a good year for the Japanese economy. And for the hundreds of guys who only attend trade shows to photograph campaign girls.

And the winner is...

Since only one person actually left a guess (Thank you!), the gin goes to Allie. Congratulations, despite being totally off the mark with your answer.

That bit of promotion (see photo of model on a motorcycle with a side car) was actually for a digital camera.

What's being promoted here?

As part of my job here, I spend a good deal of time at trade shows and exhibitions. The photo was taken at a recent trade show. (Not a great photo, I know, but I did not feel like waiting from the throngs of Japanese guys with professional grade cameras to move on -- they don't.)

Can you identify what is being promoted?

Leave your answers in the comments section. The winner, should ever we meet, will receive a gin & tonic. The correct answer will be posted next week. Good luck.

The Neighbors

When I first moved to Japan several years ago, an apartment was arranged for me in Kawasaki City. My new employer, which had hired me without so much as a telephone interview, was kind enough to locate and pay some of the more ridiculous fees on the apartment prior to my arrival.

After landing and getting in touch with the company, I was given instructions on where and how to meet a representative to take me to the apartment. As we walked from the station, he pointed out some of the neighborhood’s highlights – numerous restaurants, department stores, and just down the block from my new residence, a building full of yakuza.

“Don’t worry about them,” I was told. “They do not mess with people in their neighborhood. You don’t bother them, they will not bother you.”

Fair enough, I thought.

In the 15 months that I lived there, I only had two instances of direct interaction with my neighbors. The first occurred as a friend, who also lived in my building, and I were walking passed the yakuza’s place. An eager young gangster sidled up next to us and stated with great pride and careful enunciation, “I...am...Japanese...gangster!”

My friend replied casually, “yes, we know.” At that the young man dropped away and walked back to the small group of associated that always stood outside the building. They greeted his return with a verbal haranguing clearly audible as we proceeded toward the station. Although my understanding of Japanese was limited, it was clear that the young man had breached some article of protocol.

Over the next several months, that young gangster would scurry quickly inside at the sight of my or my friend’s approach.

Across the street and just around the corner from the yakuza’s place was a small coin-operated laundry which I used because of it was nearly always empty of patrons and it was close to my place. The shop held only washers and three driers. Unusually for this place, all of the machines were engaged, so I was shuttling back and forth between my apartment and the laundry. This was quite common and I had no experience with or fear of anyone taking my clothes. I returned to the laundry to find one of the other patrons emptying his clothes from a drier. I thought my timing was quite good since I was on my last load and needed the drier. He finished and I began moving my clothes to the now empty drier. Just as I finished and slotted the coins to start the drier one of the yakuza came into the shop.

He watched as I started the machine, then looked up to the top of the machine. I had not noticed, but on top of the machine was a blanket resting comfortably atop the half inch of dust and lint. I tried to explain to the best of my limited Japanese ability and, seeing that fail, through a series of grunts and pantomime that I was not responsible for the current location of the blanket. Thinking I had conveyed the my meaning adequately, I returned to my apartment.

At the time I thought my laundry should have been dry, I returned to the shop. The machine in which I had left my clothes was empty. They were not on top of the washers, as would sometimes happen on particularly busy days in the laundries around the neighborhood. I looked through in the other driers, but could not located my clothes. Then I glanced into the trash can at the rear of the shop. There were my clothes, still wet. I surmised that this was the result of the phone call the young yakuza was hastily making when I left the shop earlier.

Morning commuter 3.16.07

On the campaign trail

In a couple of short weeks, Japan will hold local elections at the city level. Fortunately for the residents of this country, the campaign season is mercifully limited to a few short weeks for each election cycle. That is not a lot of time to prepare the electorate for the day. Thus, the politicians have been on the campaign circuit from morning to night "debating" the issues. To the left is the debating platform of choice for local elections. When you get to the national level, you get a bus with bigger and more speakers.

Politicians or their designated mouth-pieces spend the day cruising the neighborhoods of their district, screaming "good morning", "good afternoon", "good evening", "elect (insert name of candidate here) and "thank you" through their sound systems at the unsuspecting citizenry.

Any resident within a six block radius is well aware of this message. Those at 100 meters endure a ringing in the ears for a few minutes. Any closer and you would probably just go deaf.

Local elections are over in a couple of weeks, at which point the din of Tokyo returns to normal until the campaign season for the upper chamber of parliament kicks off in June. They get the buses -- there's something to look forward to.

Shameless promotion in my own self-interest

This article is a nicely done piece about the group I attempt to play hockey with whenever possible.
http://www.fitnessjp.com/025_58_we+don%60t+need+no+stinking+skates%21

(The views expressed in the article are not necessarily those of the Idle Monkey Trainer, including the quotes.)

Also, Global Tito has been updated.

Signs of Spring

The indications that winter (entirely snow-less in Tokyo for the first time since modern records began in the Edo Period) is soon to be behind us are emerging. Distinctive to Japan, or at least Tokyo, the approach of spring is not heralded by the arrival of the first robins, as it is in North America. Rather, it is the sprouting of lights on the cherry trees that mark the nearing change.
The other sure-fire indication that spring is on the horizon, is that fake sakura line Nakamise in Asakusa, Tokyo.

Resurrection

Thoughts of an Idle Monkey Trainer has gone without an update for a long time. At the suggestion of a (geographically) distant friend, it has been resurrected as a companion to Global Tito, which is updated approximately monthly. The thoughts of idle monkey trainers, however, occur more frequently, and thus require more frequent updates. Those thoughts will be found here.